Whether you have been together 5 months, 5 years, or for 25 years, your relationship needs nurturing and attention from time-to-time.
Couples can struggle with their communication. One or both of you might feel like you are walking on eggshells, cannot resolve issues between you, feel like yelling is the only way to get your partner’s attention, or just argue all the time. Therapy can help the two of you learn how to communicate with each other again in a healthy way. It can help identify where you are overcompensating for things you learned as a child and now bring into your marriage; including where you can focus your attention and efforts to improve communication skills.
Couples may find themselves struggling with the dynamics of their family as well. It is not unusual for couples to find themselves a part of a blended family system. These couples need time to develop a unified parenting approach with their spouses, ex-spouses, and other caregivers for the children. They need time to identify and communicate their values, hopes, and dreams for the family. At other times, the extended family (i.e., in-laws) may become overly involved in your immediate family and you do not know how to set boundaries with them. Or you find that your spouse is taking sides and you are the scapegoat for things happening. The extended family may be trying to tell you how to parent or manage things within your family. You may be asking yourself how to manage co-parenting relations with your ex-spouse.
Any of these situations can disrupt a relationship and cause hurt, anger, and resentment that can accumulate over time.
You may find that your spouse has had an emotional and/or physical affair. He or she may be struggling with addiction and it is affecting your relationship and the children. It is not uncommon for couples to enter therapy feeling emotionally disconnected from each other. You and your spouse may not have the spark or intimacy in your relationship like you did years ago or after there has been a substantial change in the family (i.e., loss of a parent, or your last child going to college). You do not trust each other because of the addictive behavior or the affair. You are not spending enough time together. Couples find themselves overly committed to their children, their jobs, or making other family members happy. Your significant other may be experiencing depression and you don’t know how to help them.
Therapy can also help with those times when we have simply grown apart and need to focus on the health of the relationship again; when we need to find our way back to each other.
If you are wanting to forgive and accept things that have happened, if you want to reconnect and find that solid love and intimacy again, to connect with your spouse and try to work through hurts and resentments, to find your love language and interests again, and identify those protective factors that keep your relationship healthy, then consider calling and scheduling time for you and your spouse.